NC: Well, I'm standing up for the small hairy orange/I'm going on up there and. In their HQ, the "focus-group cases" celebrate their success/The Critic is evidently not pleased with what has transgressed. NC: The timelessly written book for all ages/Succumbs to the dumb of the focus-group cases! NC (vo): The Lorax, a book that's read by a ton/Has been ripped into shreds, and can't be undone. I speak for the Seuss/Observing how all of this BULLSHIT got loose!Ĭut to the monitor, which now plays clips in a flash/Of all the commercials that displayed the Lorax with his big, bushy mustache. The crowd laughs themselves silly as they watch the trainwreck play/While the Nostalgia Critic stands alone on the street, seeing the angering display. Once-ler: Whoa, you wouldn't hit a woman! The crowd (played by Rob Scallon, Tamara Chambers as a little girl, Doug Walker, Jim Jarosz, and Malcolm Ray) watches the movie.Īunt Grizelda: Who invited the giant furry peanut?
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Little Boy: Go see The Lorax! Find out how you, too, can save the trees!įade into a shot of the Lorax Mall adorned by all things anti-Seuss/With buildings towering overhead that marketed up the wazoos/Lorax Mazda Cars, Lorax IHOP, Lorax Pop Songs, Lorax Toys/All plaguing the minds of our dear little girls and boys./And above all of that, towering over the crowds/Is, regretfully, the movie that drove the dear Lorax to the ground. He slaps one onto the wall, revealing it to be a poster of.) Lightning strikes as the little boy looks down upon the papers and picks them up. What remains is a pile of papers that pop out of the machine. What is that? (The little boy picks up the tree with surprising ease.) What IS that?! ("That" is revealed to be a wood chipper modified into a "Paper Maker") No! No! Nonono! Think of the memories we had! Why would you- (The boy tosses the tree inside, letting her scream in agony as he watches nonchalantly. Tree: Come, boy! Come climb up my trunk, and swing- (he swings something, alright, as he starts chopping the tree down) AAH! AH! STOP! NO! AH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! AAAAAAAAH! (The tree falls to the ground and the little boy drags her off as she grunts and pants through the pain) Why, boy?! Why have you done this to me?! Wait. Narrator: Then, one day, the boy came to the tree, and the tree said. But time went by, and the tree got older and the tree was often alone.įade to white on the same shot as the little boy returns (played by Doug Walker) dragging an ax behind him.
Narrator: The boy loved the tree, and the tree was happy. Little Boy: Gosh, I love you, tree! Let's be together forever! Narrator: (played by Malcolm Ray, vo) Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy.
We fade into a scene with a little boy and a tree (both played by Tamara Chambers) in a scene reminiscent of "The Giving Tree".
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